Saturday, July 5, 2008

The McGriddle Argument

The excerpt below is from a blog for Tucker Max, author of "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell". Tucker Max's claim to fame is a life of opportunistic sex, drunkenness and partying while managing to fumble through college and grad school. He's our kind of guy, although a bit younger. All of us have had similar exploits which is why I like the guy.

On the noted topic, the Trout and I have had several discussions regarding the McDonalds McGriddle. The excerpt below is a blog conversation between Tucker Max and his good friend:

Guy 1 (Tucker Max) : "Dude--That thing looks disgusting. It has to be nasty, with the syrup shit in it. What is that?"

Guy2 : "I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have not yet partaken the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-They didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them... the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET!!! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen."

Guy1 : "So you like them?"

Guy2 : "if you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth."

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